Just when I thought this world couldn’t be more shocking, last week GQ Magazine named Kim Kardashian ‘Woman of the Year’ at its recent Men of the Year Ceremony in London. I am ashamed, and I believe that the editors at GQ may have lost their minds. My one and only thought regarding the matter is “what the fuck”. Pardon my French dear reader, but I refuse to censor my use of the eff-bomb in relation to such an infuriating matter as this. I may or may not come across to some readers as a raging feminist and/or bitch in this post, and I won’t apologise for that either.
So what exactly has Miss Kimmy K done to earn this highly coveted award? According to GQ, it has been quite a year for this (cough) inspiring woman. To begin with, she has managed to give birth and marry all in the same year – a feat never before achieved by womankind. (FYI: my great-grandmother gave birth to twelve children in less than fifteen years and remained married to her dick-head husband for at least sixty-five.) Go home GQ, you’re drunk. On top of all that, Kim has made an impressive transition from being ‘just’ a reality TV star to a “bona fide media sensation” (GQ’s words, not mine). Unsurprisingly, GQ fails to mention her sex tape, the sole reason Kim became famous in the first place. So now she’s famous for being famous. If that’s what it takes to be ‘Woman of the Year’, I believe that our world may be fucked.
I am fearful that girls far and wide are now telling their mummies that they want to be “just like Kim” or worse, that these girls’ mummies (and daddies) are encouraging them. We need to stop this, now. Screw Kim Kardashian, and screw GQ. I can name somewhere near one thousand women who are more suitable candidates for ‘Woman of the Year’ than Kim Kardashian. For example, there’s this girl at my gym that takes photographs of her near naked self in the mirror while flexing and pouting, simultaneously. In all seriousness, there are many incredible and inspiring women out there. My mother, for example – she’s a superstar. Not to mention two beautiful women in my life who have survived breast cancer.
Who gets YOUR vote for ‘Woman of the Year’? If you answer Kim Kardashian, would you be so kind as to leave, and never return. Many thanks.
PS. I have included a photograph of cows (taken in Switzerland), as it is closest thing I have to an image of Kim Kardashian in my personal collection.