Dear James Blunt, Twitter Thinks You’re Beautiful

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Random Banter

Earlier this week, Twitter suggested I follow @JamesBlunt. James who? went my brain for close to three minutes. Then it hit me. James Blunt! That guy who sang You’re Beautiful! Once upon a time, circa 2004, I was obsessed with James Blunt’s album Back to Bedlam. I mean obsessed. But then again, so was the rest of the world. When he toured Australia, my friend and I went to his concert wearing hand painted t-shirts exclaiming ‘I Heart James Blunt’. I kid you not. I knew every word to every song, and probably still do. Since then, I have not, cannot, listen to a song from that album or my ears will bleed me to death. So when Twitter suggested I follow him, I thought Heck, why not! Let’s see what old James has been up to…

In response to @MuzakirAhmed: “James Blunt your music’s shit”, Blunt tweets “And it’s taken you a decade to figure that out.”

In response to @MiissAshley: “Nothing f*cks your vibe up more than James Blunt coming on your Young Money Pandora”, Blunt tweets “At least it’s not on your face.”

In response to @TorrieVogt: “Word on the street is you’re gay”, Blunt tweets “You sound hopeful.”

In response to @mmmhotbreakfast: “If a man quoted a James Blunt song for me I think I’d vomit!”, Blunt tweets “And I’d willingly hold your hair back.”

In response to @OliviaMae_98: “James Blunt is my guilty pleasure :)”, Blunt tweets “Mine is anal.”

In response to @Lewisscoot: “James Blunt looks like my left testicle”, Blunt tweets “Then you need to see a doctor.”

In response to @EliottAVFC: “F*ck me I thought you was dead”, Blunt tweets “That’s never stopped you in the past.”

In response to @yanto1973: “That James Blunt song is utterly horrific, horrific”, Blunt tweets “Yet so many people bought it, bought it.”

In response to @Sam_SamV: “James Blunt makes my ears bleed”, Blunt tweets “Sorry. Wrong hole.”

In response to @McKym: “James Blunt is a c*nt”, Blunt tweets “I foresee a career in poetry.”

In response to @anadinskywalker: “My grandma just called James Blunt a queer”, Blunt tweets “Only coz I turned her down.”

In response to @paigefergg: “Bloody hell why is James Blunt still going”, Blunt tweets: “Viagra and coffee mostly.”

In response to @va_va_vati: “I have this dire need to listen to James Blunt when I’m menstruating”, Blunt tweets “Useful feedback. I’ll pass this onto my marketing team.”

So there you have it. James Blunt is a legend, and quite likely the funniest person on this planet. And if the above tweets haven’t convinced you, earlier this year Blunt issued a public apology for his song You’re Beautiful. Even he hates it. I’m digging up my ‘I Heart James Blunt’ t-shirt…but I’m not sure I’ll be listening to his music any time soon. If Blunt’s tweets made you LOL, do yourself a favour and visit his Twitter page here (though perhaps not in public). @JamesBlunt: you’re beautiful. #ontheinside.

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The Author

My name is Emily and this is a place where I write about all of the things I love (and sometimes the things I don't love). These things I love include all sorts of people: strangers, friends and family alike. And writing of course! I've never liked giving descriptions of myself, so you'll have to read my random banter in order to get to know me.

3 Comments

    • I know! Aren’t people horrible! But at least they provide us nice folk opportunities to laugh every once in a while 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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