I suppose I better explain the title of this post. It’s supposed to be a play on the expression “it’s a dog-eat-dog world” but you mightn’t have picked up on that because I replaced the second “dog” with “coffee”. So, I suppose I better explain the expression “dog-eat-dog world” now too because you mightn’t have heard of it. (You’re rather slow today. No offence.) The phrase refers to a world in which people fight for themselves and are willing to hurt other people to get what they want: aka the 21st Century. So why is the dog in this world eating “coffee”, I hear you ask? Here’s why: because the other day I saw a dog eat coffee.
This is not a joke.
I’ve got a new job at a super trendy café in a super trendy suburb of Melbourne. Everyone that comes into this particular café is impossibly good-looking and impossibly well dressed. In my torn jeans and dirty Converse sneakers I serve beautiful women with perfectly quaffed hair and men wearing navy blue suits and Ray Ban Wayfarers (yum). The café has a row of tables outside in the sunshine that are almost always filled with customers and their dogs: Golden Retrievers, German Shepherds, Poodles, Beagles, Chihuahuas, Dalmatians – you name it. We offer impeccable customer service in providing our four-legged patrons with bowls filled with water (sparkling or still). We also provide our two-legged patrons with glasses or mugs filled with coffee (up there with the best in Melbourne, might I add). FYI: There are about as many variations of coffee in Melbourne as there are variations of dog breeds in the entire world, cross breeds included.
The other morning I delivered a coffee (weak, skinny cappuccino, extra hot, with extra froth) to a woman who was sitting outside with her dog (Dachshund). As I cleared her emptied lunch plate, the woman spooned a spoonful of chocolate dusted skinny milk froth and…wait for it…fed it to her dog. I told you I wasn’t joking. I went back inside and explained to my co-worker what I’d just seen. I received a very unexpected response:
“Oh yeah – that’s Misty. She’s addicted to froth.”
“Wait, the dog or the woman?”
We are living in a world where dogs have become addicted to coffee froth. This is very, very serious.