It’s A Dog-Eat-Coffee World

comments 5
Random Banter

I suppose I better explain the title of this post. It’s supposed to be a play on the expression “it’s a dog-eat-dog world” but you mightn’t have picked up on that because I replaced the second “dog” with “coffee”. So, I suppose I better explain the expression “dog-eat-dog world” now too because you mightn’t have heard of it. (You’re rather slow today. No offence.) The phrase refers to a world in which people fight for themselves and are willing to hurt other people to get what they want: aka the 21st Century. So why is the dog in this world eating “coffee”, I hear you ask? Here’s why: because the other day I saw a dog eat coffee.

This is not a joke.

I’ve got a new job at a super trendy café in a super trendy suburb of Melbourne. Everyone that comes into this particular café is impossibly good-looking and impossibly well dressed. In my torn jeans and dirty Converse sneakers I serve beautiful women with perfectly quaffed hair and men wearing navy blue suits and Ray Ban Wayfarers (yum). The café has a row of tables outside in the sunshine that are almost always filled with customers and their dogs: Golden Retrievers, German Shepherds, Poodles, Beagles, Chihuahuas, Dalmatians – you name it. We offer impeccable customer service in providing our four-legged patrons with bowls filled with water (sparkling or still). We also provide our two-legged patrons with glasses or mugs filled with coffee (up there with the best in Melbourne, might I add). FYI: There are about as many variations of coffee in Melbourne as there are variations of dog breeds in the entire world, cross breeds included.

The other morning I delivered a coffee (weak, skinny cappuccino, extra hot, with extra froth) to a woman who was sitting outside with her dog (Dachshund). As I cleared her emptied lunch plate, the woman spooned a spoonful of chocolate dusted skinny milk froth and…wait for it…fed it to her dog. I told you I wasn’t joking. I went back inside and explained to my co-worker what I’d just seen. I received a very unexpected response:
“Oh yeah – that’s Misty. She’s addicted to froth.”
“Wait, the dog or the woman?”
“The dog!”

We are living in a world where dogs have become addicted to coffee froth. This is very, very serious.


The Author

My name is Emily and this is a place where I write about all of the things I love (and sometimes the things I don't love). These things I love include all sorts of people: strangers, friends and family alike. And writing of course! I've never liked giving descriptions of myself, so you'll have to read my random banter in order to get to know me.


  1. Helen says

    Very funny Em and alas not unbelievable. I had a dog that ate a whole packet of instant coffee & then raced around in circles for 5 hours. It was terrifying yet strangely funny.


  2. Janie Green says

    I have to give my boss’s dachshund 1/2 my coffee and all the froth every morning – the dog goes nuts if he doesn’t get it! ,!! Janie xxx


    • Hi Janie! So you’re telling me ALL dachshunds are addicted to coffee!? I’m kind of concerned…and I hope your boss pays for at least half of your coffee each day considering you don’t get to enjoy it! X


Tell me what's up!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s